Some Other Happenings

Taking a break from writing up my speaker notes for today’s presentation to fill in a few blanks of what went on in Shijiazhuang last week. Tom just stopped by to say he’s starting to feel the nerves in advance of being on stage in front of 200+ people. I told him if he screws up, he can play it off as nuances of the English language that the audience hasn’t yet learned. He said he’s German, with his nervousness he has a stereotype to maintain here. I’m wearing a surfing T-shirt, shorts, flip-flops, and saying “awesome” as often as I can. There’s not much more I can do.

Last Monday, before Phil departed, he took us to what he calls the “Runway Restaurant,” so nicknamed because of the catwalk that extends the length of the interior (see below). With Right Said Fred in my head throughout the evening, we had an exceptional dinner for about $10 per person. One interesting aspect of this restaurant was the bathroom. Every single wall in the bathroom was a mirror. Even the stalls were floor-to-ceiling mirrors inside. Think about that. And when you add the fact that most public toilets in China seem to be nothing more than glorified holes in the ground, you can get a sense for the level of concentration necessary to avoid stepping right in the toilet.

I'm a model, you know what I mean

I previously mentioned that I had a less-than-stellar meal at the KFC near our hotel. To acquire this meal, Tom and I stood in the slowest line in all of China. Others came to KFC, got in line, ordered, enjoyed their meals, got back in line, ordered dessert, and left before we made much progress at all. Tom insisted that this was the line for us. Based on his previous experience, this cashier was the only guy in the place who spoke English. At long last we reached the front of the line. “Chicken,” we said. Only a blank stare in response. We said it more slowly. Nothing. “Well, he looks like the guy who spoke English…”

Then a high school girl turned from the other line and asked if we needed help. “Yes, please. We’d like to order some chicken.” She said she could translate for us. It was at this moment that she turned to me and started laughing uncontrollably. She covered her face in embarrassment and was laughing so hard that tears began streaming down her face. After some time went by, she managed to point at my face through her tears and say, “Your nose!” She then composed herself and spoke only to Tom for the next 30 minutes.

One night during the week a group of us went to some tower that looks a bit like the Eiffel Tower trying to swallow a pair of giant diamonds. “This is not the Eiffel Tower,” noted Denis, our colleague from France. We ascended the tower for our buffet dinner to find that the top diamond held a rotating restaurant inside. I asked Denis if they were planning to build one of these at the top of the Eiffel Tower, since that would make it even more awesome. At this point he pulled a Pier 39 on me and said he’s never actually been to the Eiffel Tower because only tourists go there.

Well, not many people at all go to Shijiazhuang’s Eiffel Tower, and when we took a bite of our food we knew why. The view might have been nice, but we couldn’t be sure because the windows of the diamond obviously had never been washed. The one saving grace was that I recorded a video that I’m ready to declare one of the greatest of my life. I can afford such hyperbole because I’m not sure how to upload it and share it with all of you. When I figure it out I’ll provide a link and tone down the language.

Denis's place

Ok, back to my speaker notes. Other things I may or may not get back to regarding this past week include the sights / sounds / smells / tastes of the streets, the art show we visited at HEUEB, and our epic Saturday journey to Pingyao.