The Great Carrefour Chase

Our trips to Carrefour had steadily increased in frequency during our stay in Shijiazhuang on account of the increasing popularity of evening team meetings with Mr. Black and Mr. Red at Club Mukul. A big supermarket in China is a little different from big supermarkets in the US. For one thing, the seafood section is significantly more “lively,” as is the veggie section where a lot of veggies are being tested, discussed, and thrown on the floor. And of course there are quite a few items that one seldom finds in US supermarkets. No, I don’t shop at 99 Ranch.

Not looking lively on this night

It's clear that the duck is giving the thumbs up under duress

One night at Carrefour, Tom and I encountered another new supermarket experience. As we contemplated what exactly might be in the Chinese jerky a woman sweeping the floors unlatched half of her facemask and began singing. She swept her way up to us and stopped, then went about finishing her song.

“What’s going on here?”

“I’m not really sure.”

So we shrugged our shoulders and enjoyed the rest of the song, which was sort of like Beijing opera only not quite as screechy and unsettling. After we said our xie xies she went back to her sweeping.

“Well, that was odd.”

“No kidding. I’m going to go look for some sweets.”

So Tom and I went our separate ways. I wandered the aisles looking at all of the packages of disgusting things I would never consider eating.

The food chain illustrated

This one appeals to a surprisingly wide demographic - both cowboys and squid

At some point I noticed something strange. A presence. I looked up to see our sweeper standing just a few feet away, staring at me. She had sidled up with her silent broom, a small pile of dirt and rubbish in front of it. Perhaps I was in her way. I stepped back to give her room to pass, but she just kept staring. Before she could launch into her next aria I decided to stop looking at the bags of feet and intestines and move on to the next aisle.

She followed. I kept walking. She kept sweeping. Down aisle seven we went, back up aisle eight. I moved faster. She swept faster. The pile of dirt was growing with the tension. Maybe it was all a coincidence, I thought as I doubled back on aisle nine. She flipped a U-turn more neatly than a Shanghai taxi and was right on my heels. I doubled back again and narrowly missed being tripped by her broom as it made a quick 180 to follow. Now I was heading for the end of the aisle and looking for Tom. I found him browsing aisle 12.

“Hey Tom!” He looked up as I blew past the end of the aisle, the sweeper following. I doubled back past aisle 12 again. “I think she’s following me!”

The next time I came past aisle 12, Tom yelled, “Maybe you’re leaking!” I then hustled down aisle 13 and up aisle 12 from the other direction, to Tom’s surprise. “Don’t bring her to me!” he pleaded. She began to sweep behind Tom as he walked in circles on aisle 12 and I high tailed it for any other aisle. But he quickly found me on the liquor aisle, where Mukul joined us.

“Mukul, something strange is happening. This woman is chasing us with her broom.”

“She sang to us.”

“Maybe she’s trying to sweep you off your feet?”

We had business to take care of on the liquor aisle, so there was an odd standoff at this point, captured in pictures below.

Trust us, Mukul, that move doesn't work

Mukul tries to draw a line in the sand

Well, this is all very uncomfortable

But it didn’t end here. The woman proceeded to check out with us, and then followed us to the parking lot. I thought I might soon become the proud owner of another very expensive book about The Great Wall, but she simply waved goodbye, perhaps disappointed to learn that we didn’t own cars.

Shall we split this one three ways?

The next day we happened to find ourselves back at the Carrefour. I was politely waving to a nice looking woman in the tea shop who was staring and waving at Tom and me when the sweeper appeared right in front of me.

“Ah!”

I understood precisely zero of the words she spoke over the next minute and a half. But then she disappeared almost as suddenly as she had appeared. When last we saw her she was not carrying a broom. We have not been back to Carrefour since.